DEATH OF THE WOMB HEART

Last night I dreamed of riding in a car with my boyfriend. We would passionately kiss off and on as he held his right arm around me and I sat close by his side. There was another couple in the back. The strong feeling of being in love, being love was available and fully present. I could still feel it upon awakening. I still feel it now.

I also recall his hand extended in the rear seat directly behind him. As I looked over my left should, I saw him release his hand from the lady that sat there. It didn’t bother me at all. We then got pulled over. And a female police officer searched the vehicle for illegal drugs of some sort. We did have some “hash” in the car. I was barefooted and clinched my toes on it successfully pulling it out of the car so that she would not discover it. She didn’t. I woke up shortly after.

Prior to going to bed, I came across a Scorpion new moon write up and was moved to distribute it to those on The SexSensual Griot Fan page as well as to my friends in my private email list. This Scorpion phase is prime time and brings with it the powerful, transformative energies for all of us to heal. It is like the universe is giving us the magical moments and ingredients to make the much needed changes that are required for us to evolve to a higher vibration and dimension. It is time to die before you die. To let go of the old stuff that we clutch and cling to; the energies are ripe to allow sexual healing and sexual renovation of an advanced kind. It is wise to take full advantage.


After shutting down my laptop, I warmed up my hottie and placed it around my neck after rubbing some lavender oil into my neck and shoulders. I have been working on my neck and opening my throat chakra doing powerful exercises that are a part of my Fall detox. It is amazing how much tension we carry in our neck, shoulders and occipital groove. Shantam Nityama - The Tantric Mongoose - resonated this phenomenon in one of his You Tube videos I recently revisited, referring to women as playing out the role and energies of men while putting aside and neglecting the inherent roles designed for the feminine. No thanks to the external influences and demands of living that make it even more complex. But where there is a will there is a way and we can do it. We can be feminine and exist in its celestial beauty. The universe, is like a butterfly now, transmuting, transcending and transforming into it's feminine state.

The neck is where we deposit and hold the energies in our unconscious drive to be overly pro-active, chasing after rather than being receptive, being aggressive when we should be submissive, and forgetting our true nurturing and intuitive role proclaiming ignorantly that we can do without men. WHAT? The neck/throat/shoulders are where our powers are trapped. We spend too much time in the head, over thinking and over analyzing, over indulging. (Get off that damn computer! Use it purposefully, let it serve you. Turn that Tell-lie-vision off! Most of what you hear and see does not feed your soul and power the cell phone the hell off, especially when you are not using it!!) Since the majority of the population are spiritual babies, people are mostly stuck on the glamour and the superficial elements of technology - i.e. wanting the best looking phone to show off. The electromagnetic energy that you have become numbed to, stuck in your body and projected into the environment are harmful and we have yet to see and understand just how they are depleting and destroying us and our planet. The energy has no way of reaching the heart and so it gets stuck there, restricting movement and flexibility in the neck, shoulders and the top of our spine. Short circuiting our electrical fuses and power line. I have moon in Taurus (Taurus ruling the neck) so I am aware that it is where I hold my emotions.

This trapping of the mental energy also stagnates and blocks the flow of energy necessary to support and nurture our reproductive system, our womb as well as our heart. No wonder women in particular are blocked sexually developing diseases such as uterine cancer, fibroid tumors, cysts, irregular menstrual periods, recurring vaginal yeast infections, heart disease, headaches, constipation, insomnia, etc; along with a host of other dark emotions and expressions like anger, jealousy, mood swings, senseless competition, separation and the list goes on. The force and flow needed to dissolve and move all these out of the system are trapped in the neck, shoulders head and heart first. Another symptom or diagnosis - women have lost their voice, their creative powers and the ability to express their sexuality in a healthy and positive way that will serve their wholeness, that of their children, families, of mother earth and ultimately the entire universe. Most women are shut down and operate from the shoulders on up, neglecting the powerful heavens that exist under their pelvic region and between their thighs.

I have been doing womb cleansing and clearing now for the past six to eight weeks. Last night I initiated another form of womb clearing by consciously and vocally releasing the boyfriends/men of my past from my sacred chambers. Visualizing them coming out, like a death/rebirth. Men who have spent time in my vagina and whose essence still remained trapped there I now release to restore balance and peace to my uterus (universe).

It’s the morning after and I just received news that the second man/boyfriend in my life has past away. With a smile on my face, recall just how naïve I was at the time we were dating. I was a high school senior about to graduate and relocate to the US for college; he was at least 20 years my senior. Anyway, I let him go last night and the timing coincided with his physical passing. The power and beauty of this (I choose to find in death) is that it didn’t come as a surprise or a shock. He died of a silent heart attack, leaving this world and leaving the heart of my womb.

(I send him love and light so that he may transition to the next phase of his soul existence. Thank you John!)

CANCER LOVE!

From time to time, I have a woman to woman and heart to heart conversation with an East African lady I know that works at the coffee shop that I frequently go to do my work and nurture my creativity. She makes the best Spicy Chai so I adore her for that. She just celebrated her birthday this past Friday. She’s a Scorpion, I must add. I am sitting here this morning writing this as I sit in the frame of the window. It’s another gorgeous day in the Nation’s Capitol. I like the ambiance here. It’s spacious, has great lighting and is conveniently located in the heart of downtown Silver Spring. My son’s school and our place of residence are not far away either. This morning I sit bearing witness to infidelity in action.

Before I get to the juicy stuff, let me back track. About a year ago, Rose - is what I’ll call her - shared a brief story about her double life. She has a boyfriend that she’s been with for over 10 years. They live together. As well, she met another man about year ago that she really likes. Her man of long term is a white-collar worker. He wears a shirt, tie and suit to work, whereby her sidekick is more of an artist. He dresses casual wearing jeans and a nice sweater or so. She’s definitely turned on by that more so than the professional man, she expresses. “He’s from the Caribbean,” she declares. What country, I ask. “I don’t’ know,” she utters. Truth is it doesn’t really matter, it’s the feelings, the chemical reaction, the beating of the heart, the rush of fluids in the body and the fluttering of butterflies dancing all over you. She tells me that he takes her out and how much see really likes him.

I am an early riser because I have a growing young man myself that I take care of and get ready for school each morning for his Daddy to take him. Waking him up sometimes can be a struggle but today he rises without a hassle. In fact, I am bright eyed and busy tailed because of a sex-sensual secret that I recalled. But I won’t reveal it here ‘cause it deserves an account of its own.

We are the only two in the coffee shop so she sits down with me to have a girly chat. She shares the details of her birthday celebration. Her live-in boyfriend showered her with a lavish bouquet of flowers she describes as containing roses mixed with white flowers. She also received her favorite perfume in a gift package mixed with the lotion and bath wash. “It costs a hundred and fifty dollars”, she adds. So what did you and your man do to celebrate that evening? Did you make sweet love to top off the night? No she replied, “He works two jobs, so he had to work that night.” I get this sneaky feeling that this affords her the time and space to have an outside affair. Boyfriend is not around enough.

We talk about “like” and “love” before getting into her personal life. Two words that have the same number of letter and syllable however they both have different connotations. I expressed to her that I both love and like my son. I share with her that I believe that although “like” is taken so lightly it has a meaning that is deeper and more intriguing. Most all parents love their children. However, not all like them as well. I recall meeting a mother who commented on the interaction between my son and I and how she can see that we both really like each other. The mother stated, “I don’t like my son.” I love him because he is my son, but I don’t like him.

Anyway, I feel that the word “like” opens up a door way to warm, easy intimacy, acceptance that is more unconditional and the feeling of enjoying the company of another and even greater concern for the other person’s interests and activities. “Love” on the other hand carries with it more liability, a greater obligation, so to speak, and an even heavier commitment. It bears more weight and expectations on the heart and emotions of another, whereby “like” can be more sincere, more joy filled and even more pleasant. Again this is a topic I can delve into much more deeper another time. Are you still following me? Now back to my original story.

With a glow on her face, Rose continues to share. Her pearly white teeth and glitter in her eyes reflect that she is more into this man she’s seeing than her live in boyfriend. She enjoys being with him more and finds her long time boyfriend to be rather boring. “He takes care of me, he provides all my needs but something is missing.” Ladies does that sound familiar? Any sistah-takers that will claim this expression as their own? I am most certain.

So what did your side squeeze give you for your birthday, I ask her? My inquisitive and inquiring nature kicks in. “He took me out to the movies and then dinner.” Where was your man, I asked? “Working”, she answered. She is still ablaze, as she shares her story. Now for the record, Scorpions are known for being secretive, under cover, rather sexual and well the rest you can figure out on your own or may recall about any Scorpions that you know. “Don’t tell anyone, please”, as she slides her index and thumb fingers across her mouth like a zipper to signal the code of silence. Don’t worry Rose, I won’t tell anyone. You’ve shared your story with me almost a year ago. I haven’t told anyone so why would I do that. It does me no good.

So here I am blogging about this romantic story but as you know she really means don’t tell her husband, which I’ve met, and most definitely don’t tell my work mates and the people that come into the coffee shop. Again that’s the Scorpion paranoia and discreet spirit. I understand. The last time I blogged about the horrific story of female circumcision and what it had done to an African sister living in America. Another sister that I was getting to know got real angry with me and shut me out of her life. She was furious that I divulge the story of a woman’s mutilated vagina and the characteristics that reflected that and was scared that I would tell on her as well. But hey, who am I? I am the Sex-Sensual Griot and it’s my duty to share stories and offer insight and wisdom through them, I am here to spark up dialogues and new trends and ways around seeing and experiencing life, to deliver divine messages while offering comfort and support for others through the stories U share. Names and faces matter not. It’s the content, the meaning, the experience, and the message that matters most. Hell, my life is a story unfolding everyday. Whose life isn’t? Okay back to the original story once again.

Rose goes on to say that she is not happy with her long time East African man, and she hasn’t been in a while. Mind you, I am offering this beautiful woman a space to share and release some of the pent up energies around this ordeal so it is all good. I listen with keen ears while smiling back. She further shares that she prefers a man who can wear jeans and be casual rather than one who is stifled in a shirt and tie. Her boyfriend obviously fits that description.

But don’t leave just yet. You’re probably thinking, this is old, I am in the middle of this, or I know someone who is going through this. What else is new? Just hold up, I am getting to the irony and moral of this story.

Moments later, the door opens and a gentleman walks in. She turns around gets up quickly while signaling to me that it is HIM! All within that moment she asks me to keep my cool and not say anything. You know how we women can say a mouth full with a tiny little gesture. I comply. So I sit here at my computer, the sense of urgency to write this story arises within me.

The playback of my radio show this past Monday is turned on in my mind as I recall the on-air chat with a man who practices polyamory along with his wife. I am amazed at how these moments have helped put understanding in action around the reason why more and more couples and singles are opting to create polyamorous relationships. I also hear the words of another guest when we both agreed that it is against human nature to be monogamous and how man made rules and laws can be very detrimental to our existence especially pertaining to matters of the heart. After all you can’t chain a heart! It creates such confinement and cultivates insincerity in so many particularly those who are rising up, breaking the old chains and becoming more in tune with their spirit and aware of their wholeness as well as others who are truly listening to the voice of their heart.

When I took a look at the brother, I could tell that he is stressed out, uneasy within with his body language revealing that things are not aligned or in harmony within him. After he left and she had a chance to come to me, she gave me a hug and kiss and said, “I love you”. Then moments later she laughed and said, I really like you a lot. We both laughed recalling the distinction between “loving” and “liking” we had just touched up on.

We did have a chance to talk more, by the way. And I told her that I am writing about her story, about what just happened. I assured her that her name or description is not being mentioned and that I do respect her privacy. I helped her understand that her story is another woman’s story and perhaps it may inspire a shift or change in someone reading this. Let me add quickly that the side guy is married with two little children. One is two and the other is three years old. I also told her that the main reason I was writing and sharing these moments is because infidelity is a slow poison that can gradually eat away at your soul. Hiding and concealing while living a double life can slowly destroy one’s inner peace, stunt their growth and sabotage their wellbeing. Infidelity can become a cancer eating away at one’s core. Truth, honesty and openness are excellent prescriptions for health loving, living and relating. And most of all it is one of the highest gestures of SELF-LOVE.