The Wisdom of a Kiss!

"When a woman is excited with passion, she should cover her lover’s eyes with her hands and, closing her own eyes, thrust her tongue into his mouth. She should move it to and fro and in and out, with a pleasant motion suggestive of more intimate forms of enjoyment to come.“ Ananga Ranga



An endearing kiss on the forehead, a soft kiss on the neck by your lover, a sudden kiss from your lover when you are upset; the hello and good bye kiss, the good morning and good night kiss; the greeting kiss on the cheek or a peck on the lips between two friends, and ultimately, the fervent kiss in the midst of making love. What could be more communicative and soothing than a KISS? It is a language in itself and a gateway to meltdown, to dissolving barriers and liquefying the crust and crud around the heart like hot springs.


Mouth-to-mouth kiss is considered “contact of the upper gates” in Tantric traditions. Kissing gives direct access to the yoni and lingam. Spiritual-Sexual history points out that a woman’s upper lip is one of the most erogenous areas of her body. There is a subtle nerve channel that connects her palate and upper lip to her clitoris. It is known as the “Wisdom Conch-like Nerve”. It gets its name from its form in which at the lower end is encircled many times around like a shell. Many Tantric texts suggest that kissing the upper lip and oral sex both create a special kind of circuit through which energy flows.

Throughout my lifetime I’ve heard quite a few people utter “I don’t like kissing” and I often look at them with both astonishment and dismay because kissing activates great pleasure and magical healing that both individuals can benefit from. It’s an excellent connector, linking the hearts of two people and for the very reason it should be done often.

In the Eastern therapeutic tradition, Shiatsu associates the upper lip with the digestive and sexual regions. This meridian path way begins at the upper lip for women (the lower lip for men) rising up through the tip and bridge of the nose, up through the third eye, curving down to the right side of the face and further descending through the breasts, the solar plexus, the abdominal region, the navel and down the center of a woman’s yoni and on to the tip of her clitoris (the eye of the penis for men).

Try visualizing the subtle nerve running from the tip of your clitoris (or the tip of your lingam – for men) up to the pathway of the upper lip I just described. Doing this consciously awakens and lights up the sensual trail for channeling your sexual energy through. Try thinking of this nerve as a long empty but pulsating tube in which you can fill with your magical sexual juices while breathing consciously - a fundamental part of Tantra. Massage of the upper lip through kissing releases sexual energy and stimulates sexual desires. Ooh, I can feel the tingling sensation just thinking of it.

In the oral erotic traditions, saliva is considered a powerful healing fluid. It is effective in balancing the yin and yang forces in a couple. In fact, in sexual traditions of the White Tigress, oral sex is a necessity. Oralism is considered the first stage of libidinal development at which time sexual desire is undifferentiated from the desire for food. We are oral beings naturally. Aside from mother’s milk, saliva is an infant’s first ingestion of nourishment. While growing up in Africa, whenever I declared being thirsty with no immediate access to water, my mother would always tell me, “Drink your spit”. The body fluids are the initial source of nourishment for the survival of human life – mother’s milk, saliva and our sexual fluids.

Think about it! As infants and children we spend a great deal of time sucking and licking. It is our inherent nature and somewhere along the way we forgot it. As babies we judged everything through the tongue. It is our first sense organ to develop. We all drooled as babies and some of us still do. The tongue is not only our first sense receptor but is also the last organ to deteriorate after death. The significance of the tongue to our health and well-being could never be overstated. In addition, saliva is full of nutrients that benefit the body in numerous ways. For example, it can aid digestion, produce weight loss, heal the skin, restore the teeth and gums and cleans the esophagus. I know this first hand. When ever I have digestive challenges, I secrete saliva and ingest it. It is only moments later that the discomfort vanishes and the undigested foods begin to move. It’s a powerful natural medicine. Since we exchange saliva when we kiss, it’s important that we brush our teeth and tongue properly and drink plenty of water to keep the body fluids natural and uncontaminated.

I began kissing at a very young age. I was in the 3rd grade when I received my first kiss from my boyfriend. Thereafter, I became a “Kissing Angel” - still am. I grew up spending many hours kissing on the couch, a passionate long kiss of farewell at the front door, kissing in a car and even while slow dancing on the dance floor with my boyfriend. I am big on kissing and often kiss all those who are close to me. Kissing is a big part of my African tradition and my own nature. My parents and I kissed every morning, before leaving for school and to say goodnight. We kiss people we first meet through family or friends as a greeting and farewell gesture. My Uncle would always say, “Come give me sugar!”

Many of our habits and attitudes towards kissing stems from our early childhood. Some may have never seen their parents kiss, while in many homes the channel is changed or children are forbidden from seeing adults kissing or making love. People have been trained to allow their kids to view violence over the display of love and intimacy. This is so wrong and damaging. Children need more exposure to loving gestures rather than being overwhelmed with violence and destruction. After all children learn what they live and live what they learn.

No matter what the relationship is, a KISS contains the wisdom and magic to melt a heart, to change a mind and to soften a body. Most of all, a KISS says it all and is the ignition of a passionate love making and healing session. So if you are not a fan of kissing I urge you to reconsider. It is not too late to learn the art and beauty of kissing.

“When the woman is full of desire, she should take the man’s lower lip between her teeth, gently chewing and biting him there. He should do the same to her upper lip, taking care to suck it gently. In this way they both will become sexually aroused and their passion will produce much heat.” Ananga Ranga