Instead of getting caught up in the commercialism of Valentine's Day, think in terms of moments of love that are more lasting, enhancing, expanding. Think in terms of memories and moments that support your relationships from the INSIDE out, not the OUTSIDE in. Consider taking you or both you and your partner beyond your comfort zone to discover more of your self and each other.
For those who are single (without partner) focus on self-love and self-discovery; consider sharing love with a child or an elder who needs it. Treat yourself to something fabulous or go out on a date with yourself to a place that is not so crowded. Get creative.
SACREDNESS: This stems from making love in a ritualistic way. Create divine moments that will take you closer to your god/goddess nature. Set the mood, create an ambiance that will stimulate and arouse your senses. Light candles of colors such as red, orange, green, white. The sense of smell is associated with primary prana, the upward-moving vitality that stimulates the heart chakra. Sweet-smelling herbs, oils and incense helps stimulate the creative attitude and uplift the spirit. This is an integral part of rites and rituals associated with many spiritual and religious practices. The sweet order of rose, jasmine, sandlewood, cedar, bergamont, lavender and marijuana poses the uplifting property which provoke the erotic and spiritual sentiments. Pleasant smelling perfumes and oils are part of the Tantric lifestyle and can not only stimulate the heart and mind but create an atmosphere of psychic protection. It's good to get into the habit of keeping sweet smelling scents in your personal space on an ongoing basis.
The odor of a woman changes according to her monthly cycles and the degree in which she is sexually excited. A man undergoes similar changes of odor with his emotional changes of physical exercise, anger, excitement and a sexual longing or even abstinence. Someone in tune with their senses can learn a great deal about a total stranger just from their smell. So ladies, in particular, don't ignore the tell-tale signs a man offers from his scent.
Touching and kissing are strong elements of intimacy. There is wisdom to be found in a kiss. And it is quite sensual and powerful to learn how to kiss your self. Kissing arouses the love juices, and the flow of fluids in the body are fundamental to the love making experience and our wellness.
Music and sounds are a dimension of the Tantric lifestyle and love-making that must not be omitted. The sound of music soothes the soul and calms the nervous system. Pick your music wisely so that it serves and feeds you rather than deplete you. Rap and strong lyrics of harsh words and negative talk will do you no good. You absorb them into the waters of your body so pick instrumental music such as jazz, new age, harp, piano, etc. I personally love Sufism beats, heart meditation classics, spiritual soothing waterfalls music, classical with a cultural twist, flute, acoustic new age, instrumental hip-hop, visions of zen and music that are alternative and heart moving. Find your own.
Use oils and scents for the body that are natural and healthy. I am big on coconut oil because I can use it lavishly all over my body from hair to toes, on my yoni, as a massage tool in every way and I can also take it internally for the array of health benefits. Ladies & gents STOP using petroleum oil based products like vaseline to masturbate and to rub on your skin. It is not healthy at all. The key in determining what's good for your skin is the question, "Can I consume it internally?"
Tastes can not be left out. The taste buds need to be stimulated in the process and you can begin by creating or allowing the saliva in your mouth to activate. This helps to stimulate the fluids in your reproductive system so that you are well lubricated goddesses. Bring some erotic fruits into your bedroom like grapes, bananas, tangerines & oranges that are peeled and split up. Food is a sacramental part of the Tantric traditions and you should have small bowl of fruits and water on your sacred altar. Explore the natural taste of each other and sometimes shower together as a way of foreplay for your erotic activities.
I consider sex a form a yoga. So take yoga to the bedroom and your love making moments. Just like the positions of yoga can stimulate and help balance each organ so can your love making positions. It has been well known in the Taoist traditions that sex can be healing if you do it the healing way. There are positions to practice that imitate animals and nature such as the dragon, the fish, the monkey, the frog. Many of these postures you may have already been doing but now its time to do it with intention, mindfulness and with a healing purpose. Learning how to direct the orgasmic sexual energy for optimal health and practice the many dimensions of these techniques.
A FEW ROMANTIC IDEAS
~ Get an E-Sensual Tantra Couples Massage
~ Write a Love letter to each other expressing feelings, gratitude, enjoyment of pleasure with each other, and sweet promises that are attainable. Handwritten only!
~ Re-decorate your bedroom so it is sensual refreshing, sexually stimulating and a love nest that allows rest and peace. Leave the TV out of the bedroom it only adds electronic magnetic energies that disturbs your resting space. Getting accustomed to this is so detrimental. By this I mean when you can no longer know the difference in your space then you are in bad shape. Many love to watch a movie while chilling out in bed. Its okay to bring it into the bedroom on occasion for those lazy days, but to have it in there all the time does not support a serene and Tantric lifestyle.
~ Do a sensually artistic nude photo shoot. This can be so much fun and revealing of your inner sex-sensual nature. It offers a boost of confidence as well.
~ Make friends with one of your Facebook friends that speaks another language or is from another country, culture or racial background. Expand your possibilities. Many of us have so many fb friends but there are more we have never interacted. Take a chance.
~ Adopt a puppy or cat! I can not begin to explain the healing benefits of having a living companion other than a human being. The interaction stimulates the good hormones, helps your mind- body relax and keeps the heart open. Caring for a live pet allows the process of putting love in action and it enhances your sensuality when you rub and massage it.
~ Get a lesson in Tantra Sex from an expert.
~ Spend the entire day together in the nude or a day nude by yourself at home.
Enjoy LOVE MONTH and let Valentine's Day be a jump start of SELF-LOVE & BEING LOVE for the rest of the year!! Keep a broader perspective and don't allow it consume you. And most of all practice the Art of Play for that is the basis for Tantric Sex and living esensually!!
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